In a stunning conceptual leap, All About Jazz founder/publisher Michael Ricci
has come up with a new technology that he terms the outernet," which he will use to expand coverage at the web site this April. In the process of revolutionizing jazz journalism with advances like RSS
and live content
, AAJ has set benchmarks right and left. But the outernet, Ricci says, is the next wave. We're going to ride this one all the way to shore. Hang ten, baby!"
Outernet is a brand new way to deliver fresh content using a special device called the umbilical antenna. All jazz fans have to do to tune in and take advantage of the outernet is attach this credit card-sized device, sit back, and allow the swing to enter their bodies and lift their spirits into flight. The antenna does not yet work 100% reliably, but Ricci's working on that. He assures the public that it'll be ready in time and it's perfectly safe to use. However, it comes in a package with large red warning stickers that caution against using the outernet in the bath or shower, which may result in electric shock, convulsions, or cardiac arrest.
The outernet concept dates from a busy day back in October when Ricci was treating his puppy for a severe bout of amoebiasis. His veterinarian suggested that he administer the antibiotic solution dropwise into the dog's mouth, which took over three hours because he wouldn't stop yipping about how bad it tasted. During the pauses, Ricci took a few time outs to consider the latest waves of technology in the digital world. He knew that he had to find a new way to reach new readers and deliver the masses the jazz narcotic they crave so badly.
Everything came together when Ricci was was taking a bubble bath later that October afternoon, soaking away the puppy drool, sipping cabernet, singing along with the latest crop of Blue Note reissues and meditating on the state of the art in jazz journalism. He looked down at his belly button and realized for the first time that it was not an innie, but an outie. And that's when the idea was born. For every internet site, he realized, there was an outernet just waiting to be plugged in. All he had to do was get the bugs worked out and it would be massive.
In the next month, AAJ will deliver a whole series of features using the outernet, which combines music with brief, informative artist voice-overs and comments from producers and label mangers. This innovative multimedia combination will probably appear elsewhere on the web, but for now it's an AAJ exclusive. Whether the outernet will become the iPod of the future remains to be seen, but Ricci remains confident:
I know it in my gut. This is the way to go."
To purchase the outernet, only available at AllAboutJazz.com, click here.